and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
