Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize