How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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