Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
