ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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