i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize