so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
