just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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