It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
