Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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