The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Princesses don't give blow jobs
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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