if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
