Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
