You just made me feel so damn special
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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