nut hugger
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
