The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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