So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
