Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
