conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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