ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
