Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
