you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
