it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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