Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
