Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
