so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
