is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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