I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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