Do you still have your period?
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
