Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize