why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
This toilet bowl is my home.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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