i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
