The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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