literally had 100 drinks last night.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
did i walk over a car last night?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
