That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Randomize
