Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
