five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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