You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
