There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
