I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
So here I am, sexting at work.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
