I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
