It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize