She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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