I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
