Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
