I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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