The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
