I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
