Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize