Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
