I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He kissed a someone with a penis
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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