My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
