508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You work out of a Hotel?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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