Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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