gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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