: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
