You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize