My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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