Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
