Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
