he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
How external is "for external use only"?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
