jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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