I must be too annoying 4 u.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's rum buckets o'clock
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
