Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
