did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
this is an emotional support booty call
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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