ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
