she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
