**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
